Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream - and Why It Matters by Helen Smith
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
n. Hatred or mistrust of men.
n. Man-hatred; a bad opinion of man, as being unfair or oppressive toward women.
n. Hatred of men. Contrast misogyny and cf. misandrist.
Let me be clear here. I believe in equality.
This should not be a lot to ask for. Back a hundred years or more ago, there were popular and populist groups that made a point out of making laws EQUAL for both men and women.
Unfortunately, the original movement has passed by equality and has swung, like a pendulum, until the tables have turned.
If you don't believe me, you haven't been paying attention.
I repeat: I believe in equality.
When boys are not allowed to be anything but defective girls in schools (going on 40 years now), when the rate of suicide for boys between 15-20 has risen to 4 times that of women, and 6 times that of women for those men between 20-25, when fewer and fewer men are going into college, or once there, learn that they are despised, and never graduate, it should be a warning sign.
A simple little warning that something might be wrong.
Men aren't stupid, no matter what the media, their teachers, or their wives might say.
If I were in an auditorium right now, speaking with a large group of men, I would ask them to raise their hands to each of these questions, and put them down if it didn't apply:
"In the last year, have you been subject to verbal abuse from women or suspiciously feminist-sounding men such as 'all men are idiots', 'all men are assholes', 'don't be a man-child,' 'grow a pair', or, 'don't talk to me about your patriarchy bullshit' in person, the media, or by the little voice in your head?"
I'd wait, and see every man's hand go up. In my imagination, it'd be a stadium. Then I'd ask:
"How about the last month?"
All hands would remain up.
"The last week?"
Maybe a few hands would go down, but the rest would remain up.
Why don't we see men complaining about this? Because we're taught to be self-sacrificing, to put up with it, to not rock the boat, or because we're afraid of losing what few rights or privileges we might have left.
Ignoring the rate of suicide or the fact that men are NOT getting married all that often anymore, that somehow all the good men have disappeared, I have to ask:
If they're all such idiots and assholes, then why are they dropping off the workforce, the bedroom, or the classroom? Only 16% of teachers are men and it's dropping. Any kind of unfounded accusation can turn good teachers into unemployed teachers. The same goes for students on campus. There is no rigorous examination of proof, and public opinion is against all men anyway.
If we are rational about this, we can draw certain conclusions about people in general. Bad ones are pretty much cropping up at the same rate regardless of the sex of the offender, be it sexual abuse, prejudice, or just plain mean-spirited behavior. Assuming this is true, and there is a TON of evidence that it is, then the likelihood that men or boys are actually BAD PEOPLE is approximately the same as it has ever been. So why is 90% of the population of prisons just men? A corollary is of course the higher proportion of BLACK men, but the fact is there for all to see.
If most men are good, decent, and caring people, (WHICH THEY ARE), then we must assume that it is perception bias that is now fully arrayed against them. If all the teachers are women, and even if most women MEAN well, it only takes one teacher to ruin the life and/or prospects or the basic HOPE of any boy.
Add to this the obvious facts of MANY support groups and self-esteem seminars and pro-bono legal assistance and basic PUBLIC OPINION that is showered on girls and women, it might seem like society is doing really well for itself.
But there are few to none of those same support groups for boys or men. Not even the Boy Scouts is open only to boys any longer. Boys are derided for playing video games with other boys. They're no longer allowed spaces in public to hang out or they will automatically be broken up. They are isolated, ridiculed, and even if they work their way through this ... nastiness ... they are still forced to deal with natural biological desires in a world where women hold all the cards.
Look at it realistically. There is a double standard. Women are attracted to alpha males. Asshole loners who aren't alpha males are often mistaken for alpha males. But women only want alpha males. If they can't have one, they only want a man from the OLD patriarchal standard that will work themselves to death to support them.
Everyone else is pretty worthless. It's been over forty years since this turnaround began. Economically, socially, women are not only working more, they have SURPASSED PARITY with men. If we ignore the top 3% of the population making ungodly amounts of money, we're left with an economy with MUCH less opportunity for men than women. Almost all of the growing fields are designed for women. Check out how many hold positions that control hiring or middle management. They are encouraged to be the gatekeepers. Look at reality as it is now, and not what we believe it must be from how the media spins it.
When I was getting my degrees in college, I was astounded to see that I was only a single man out of ten women in my psychology courses. I thought this was a fantastic improvement. I thought the horrible patriarchy was going down.
It's true. I bought all the narratives. I even considered myself a feminist, always choking on the "extremist feminist movement"'s words and repeating to myself, "I believe in equality. I believe in equality." Of course, certain personal experiences made me believe I was an outlier, just someone who got some bad luck with women. I still believed in the ideals even if I couldn't trust the kinds of hate-speech coming out of the media or mainstream books.
I started shutting down and withdrawing from all the hate. I just had to believe that it was a passing phase. I withdrew from women. I was scared of them and the power they held over my reproductive rights. Even now, there are one million men in America who, even with proof that the children they're paying for are NOT EVEN THEIR OWN CHILDREN, the law is against them. They are forced into bonafide slavery. 400,000 cases of men being put into prison because they aren't able to pay child support in a modern-day version of debtor's prison is PERFECTLY NORMAL, right?
Divorce court automatically sides with the woman regardless of the situation. Men are guilty unless proven innocent and even that doesn't mean a thing. Infidelity by a wife makes no difference in child custody. For the 60 pro-bono support groups for women with legal or marital issues, there are a grand total of zip, zilch, and nada for men. If you want legal recourse, you have to pay out the nose.
Is this equality? A total disregard for both facts and basic decency?
Wait, isn't this just a few examples? Is it just America?
No. It's all around the world.
It might be time to ask a question: "Is there a problem here?"
Or better yet, maybe it might be time to opening up dialogue with men if you actually profess to love them.
Switching one horrible social problem with the reverse is not a solution. We all f***ing need each other.
So what about all those men who have given up? They are isolated, have no spaces in their own homes, are threatened by divorce by their wives and when they realize it is all a complete no-win situation for them, they GIVE UP. They withdraw. Or they have lots of anger that they try to anesthetize using WHATEVER.
Men aren't idiots. They all know something is deeply wrong. If you ask where all the good men have gone, I recommend simply ASKING them. That might require actually LISTENING to them, however.
I say we need to demand respect. If you want to have respect, you must give it. No more hurtful comments. No threats. The threats are REAL and they cut DEEP. Because I'll let you in on a little secret:
Men love their children. This is REAL. It goes against ALL the other narratives. If you drive them into a corner and make them feel helpless, because the law is entirely on YOUR side, then you've just made an enemy.
Respect your men. Understand that you cannot push them so far into a corner that they either give up on life or choose to avoid all women in the future. No one wins here. No one should ever have to go on strike or give up on their own lives.
Stop the very real misandry.
I totally recommend this review of this book... I probably wouldn't have read the book otherwise.
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